My New Book; The Rise And Fall of the Horde

Hia Folks,

Right now I’d like to shamelessly self-promote my newest book, “The Rise and Fall of the Horde”. It does not deal with our pal The Rauschmonstrum in any way. This book is a telling of what my college years may or may not have been like (saying that they are may possibly put me on shaky legal ground). The book deals with drunken exploit after drunken exploit after drunk exploit, I’m sure you’ll like it.

Rauschmonstrum Antifragile

  • I am a devotee of Nassim Taleb’s concept of antifragility. Antifragility is defined as a property of systems that increase in capability and resilience as a result of stressors, shocks, volatility, noise, mistakes, faults, attacks, or failures. 
    I’m sure you know where I’m going with  this, our boy The Rauschmonstrum is an on the nose example of antifragility at work.

1. In the works the Rauschmonstrum appears he thrives off of the chaos he causes in other peoples’ lives and in disrupting the global order at large. He embraces uncertainty, and in a way worships it.
2. His shapeshifting abilities themselves are antifragile. The more mistakes he makes, the more information he is able to take in, the more shapes he can take, the more impact he is able to have on the world stage.
3. The format by which works about him are written is very much antifragile. He is not bound by normal restraints for fictional characters. Being a shapeshifter and immortal give him free reign over a variety of plot lines other fictional characters do not possess. Thus any stories about him are not bound by narrative constraints. In fact he can get stronger by breaking narrative constraints.

Ol’ Rausch looks forward to carrying on in his antifragile manner.

The Rauschmonstrum’s Christmas Carol

The print edition of The Rauschmonstrum’s Christmas Carol is now available. However, the good folks of Amazon will not allow me to upload a Kindle copy.  They feel this Rauschmonstrum Remix isn’t significantly different enough from the original in order to deserve being uploaded. That’s all okay. For those of you who’d like to buy my book in print in order to keep it forever in your possession, the option is there for you to do so, but for those who just want to read it, I am posting the pdf for it right here for you.

Merry Christmas,

Nick

The Rauschmonstrum’s Campaign For Secretary of State

The reports are that the next Secretary of State will be Rex Tillerson, the CEO of Exxon Mobil. Just in case this is false, the Rauschmonstrum would like to throw his hat into the ring for that position. The following are reasons why he would make a good Secretary of State. 

  1. He has a detailed knowledge of the history and culture of every country on Earth, particularly the Middle East.
  2. He is as cunning as they come. Nobody will ever get over on him. 
  3. He’s amoral
  4. His personality and background ensures he will intimidate any and all foreign leader, while never ever being intimidated by them. 
  5. He has unlimited powers to sabotage others, without anybody ever finding out. 
  6. He’s more interested in finding colorful ways to spend his time than by making lots of money.

Bravo Donald, Bravo; A Post Where I Apologize For Some Arrogance

In a previous post I said Donald Trump’s campaign was dead in the water.  This was shortly after the “Grab ‘Em by the Pussy” tapes were released, when many other folks were writing obituaries for the campaign. (That’s still no excuse for me to make the same mistake)  Anyway, I was wrong and so I must apologize.  Donald, you ran the craziest campaign of all time and now you’ve pulled off the greatest political upset of all time, (Dewey vs. Truman is overrated) you deserve props.  In this piece I will explore further some of the things I mentioned in my previous blog on Trump.

When I think of the words “The Trump Campaign” my mind is filled with images of Trump at his rallies in his red hat, shouting whatever comes to his mind, along with this are memories of him tearing down “Low Energy” Jeb, “Lying” Ted, and “Little” Marco.  I also think about him telling Clinton she was “WRONG” and that if he won he would put her in jail.  What an insane campaign.

For most of his life, the Donald hung out with A-List celebrities, but none of those people would dare be seen with him after he started his campaign, and instead it was Clinton who was getting to hang out with the top Hollywood players.  The working class folks of Michigan and Pennsylvania and Wisconsin certainly noticed how Trump had left the winner’s circle in order to be with them, and that may have been what carried him over the top on Election Day.  The Manhattan billionaire spurned polite society to become an outlaw.  If he had lost he wouldn’t have been able to return to their ranks. He did so many things which would have destroyed anybody else, yet here he is.  There’s gotta be something to be said about that.

One of my main points in my “Trump’s Death Drive” blog was on our overexposure to information.  My quote was “The more information is out there, the harder it is to discern lies from reality. It is this quality which makes the modern world the perfect lair for The Donald.” What I didn’t go into was the divide between the mainstream media and the “not so mainstream” media.  CNN is a good standard bearer for everything the mainstream media represents, and on the “not so mainstream” media side we should look towards Breitbart.  

Our friend Steve Bannon (I shall refer to him as “our friend” here because why call him something else and risk his wrath?) made his triumphant arrival into the national spotlight by heading the Trump campaign’s during its last couple months, and in the process he was able to take his fringe right wing website and place it head to head against CNN, the NY Times, and all the other respectable media institutions.  Who won? Bannon’s victory in the propaganda department may actually be more important than Trump’s victory in the political department.  I predict Breitbart will in the coming years be considered a more and more legitimate place to get your information while CNN, the NY Times, and all the others will be treated less and less so.  This is the chaos Trump and Bannon have wrought. 

In my previous blog I said “Trump’s gambit as that truth is absolutely irrelevant, that it is something which had a good run and should now be put out to pasture.” I went on to say that Trump was just a tad wrong about truth being dead, but back then I thought he would lose! Trump won! Truth may actually be dead! What have we done?

This takes us once again to the subject of death drive.  Trump ran a campaign where he always teetered on the edge of going too far and destroying himself. Yet somehow, that didn’t happen. He has become a triumphant political force, the likes of which we have never seen before in American history.  In my previous post I said that the problem with running a campaign on death drive is you are fated to failure, but that didn’t happen! Bravo Donald, now let’s see what you do with this.

The Rauschmonstrum Comments On Paul’s Letters to the Thessalonians

Dear Paul,

 

I don’t dig these letters to the Thessalonians.  First off you warn against sensuality.  What the fuck are you talking about? Nobody wants to hear this.  Just because you’re a celibate preacher (nobody causes more issues than you celibate preachers) doesn’t mean you should ruin everyone else’s fun.  Encourage everyone to fuck and they’ll gladly listen to the rest of your message.

 

In these letters you also make the mistake of telling everyone you expect Jesus to return during your lifetime.  He ain’t coming back in your lifetime or anyone else’s lifetime, he’s gone, and he wasn’t magic.  By claiming he’s coming back you’re setting Christianity up for a premature death.  If you make people expect a Return from him soon and he never shows up, then they’re going to lose interest in you and the movement is out of luck. Be sure to avoid slip-ups like this in the future.

 

Carry On,

The Rauschmonstrum

The Rauschmonstrum’s First Letter to Paul

[This passage appears within the book  Further Sketches of the Rauschmonstrum]

 

Dear Paul,

I hear you had a vision of Jesus in the road to Damascus. Maybe you really do think you saw him, or maybe you’re just having a laugh on everyone. It doesn’t make a difference to me. What matters to me is how you use your time spreading your message henceforth. 

The truth is Jesus of Nazareth was not the Son of God. He was just a deluded fellow I conned into bringing my plans into fruition. You can do with this information as you wish, I don’t care. You can quit this Christ stuff right now and go back to being a lawyer, or you can be one of the most important people who has ever lived.  I am already certain of which choice you will make. Remember, facts are not important when it comes to persuading people, emotions and desires are what’s important.
I will have much more to discuss with you during the coming years.

 

Keep on Keeping On,
The Rauschmonstrum 

The Rauschmonstrum Advises Paul the Apostle To Write His Own Gospel

[This passage appears within the book  Further Sketches of the Rauschmonstrum]

Dear Paul,

I’ve been reading some of the letters you’ve been writing to the Romans and Corinthians, and whoever the hell else. I’m not impressed. How about instead of your wind bag letters you wrote a story about the life of Jesus, a gospel if you will. You don’t know this yet but several folks are going to be writing stories these in the coming years, why don’t you do it yourself? After all you’ve been doing more to spread the message than anyone else thus far. Certainly more than any of his twelve bumbling disciples did.

If you decide to do this let me give you some help. Have Jesus be a wandering preacher who has lots of sex. The reason he goes from place to place could be because he keeps impregnating the women of the towns he preaches in. This is a common thing which occurs with charismatic speakers. Presenting Jesus as guided by his libido will make him a good role model for those who read your gospel. They’ll be healthier, happier, and will “be fruitful and multiply” as it is said God said to Noah. (Actually I was the one who said that to Noah. I knew the worst flood in history was happening and the only way to convince Noah to build that fucken ark and take those animals along was to pretend to be God.)

You would also be wise to include dragons in your Gospel. People like the idea of dragons, and if you had a passage of Jesus riding a dragon the image would be on stained-glass windows in every church the world over come 1000 years. For similar reasons, using trolls, goblins, and dwarves in your story would be a good idea as well. Are you afraid these inclusions would make the story outrageous? I’ve got news for you, the story is already ludicrous.  (Virgin births and a man coming back from the dead? Come on.)

You should have him and his disciples sing and dance a lot too. Perhaps those around him could refer to him as the Singing Messiah and his Merry Band of Dancing Disciples. Is that too long? I don’t think so. Oh and this one is important, give him a good sense of medical science, not what people in your time and place foolishly refer to as medical science but actual medical science. I’m attaching to this letter a separate piece of paper in which I wrote some precepts which will put the scientific knowledge of your world into hyper drive.

Perhaps most importantly, if you decide to write your own Gospel, be sure to avoid placing the blame for Jesus’ death squarely on the Jews. Do not mention “blood guilt” or anything else like that. Trust me, doing that will cause some problems in the future .

If you abide by these elements I think you’ll have yourself a pretty good gospel, definitely better than any of the others that may be created.

Sincerely,

The Rauschmonstrum

[Unfortunately due to issues with postage, Paul never received the Rauschmonstrum’s letter. Who knows how the course of history would have changed if he had.]