Things I Learned About the Gospels While Writing My Book “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum”

1. It is obvious Jesus intended on returning to Earth once again during his disciples’ lifetimes.
2. It is obvious Jesus believed, much like most others in his time, that physical illness is caused by sin. Apparently being the Son of God wasn’t enough to give him knowledge of germ theory.
3. Anybody who gives out the advice to a bereaved son “let the dead bury the dead” should not be taken seriously as the central figure of altruism, yet somehow he’s thought of as such.
4. Knowing how to slide your way out of a no win situation by exploiting an unseen hidden option is one of the best skills a person can have.
5. The Gospel of John is a bizarre document. It is as though it is the Prog Rock of the bible. I wonder how it became a part of the canon, it seems more at home with the unofficial Gnostic gospels.
6. Jesus is not the “happy hippy” he usually is seen as in modern society. He has a specific vision for how mankind should behave and he spends a great deal of the story (particularly in Matthew) berated people for their failures. He is also relentless in his pursuits. Harold Bloom was right to call the Jesus in the Gospel of Mark an early incarnation of Hamlet.
7. Each gospel is unique, and the characterization of Jesus in each one is vastly different. I think a good alternative title for the collection would be “4 Authors in Search of a Messiah”

—{The Rauschmonstrum’s Press Agent}—

 

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