The Rauschmonstrum Advises Paul the Apostle To Write His Own Gospel

[This passage appears within the book  Further Sketches of the Rauschmonstrum]

Dear Paul,

I’ve been reading some of the letters you’ve been writing to the Romans and Corinthians, and whoever the hell else. I’m not impressed. How about instead of your wind bag letters you wrote a story about the life of Jesus, a gospel if you will. You don’t know this yet but several folks are going to be writing stories these in the coming years, why don’t you do it yourself? After all you’ve been doing more to spread the message than anyone else thus far. Certainly more than any of his twelve bumbling disciples did.

If you decide to do this let me give you some help. Have Jesus be a wandering preacher who has lots of sex. The reason he goes from place to place could be because he keeps impregnating the women of the towns he preaches in. This is a common thing which occurs with charismatic speakers. Presenting Jesus as guided by his libido will make him a good role model for those who read your gospel. They’ll be healthier, happier, and will “be fruitful and multiply” as it is said God said to Noah. (Actually I was the one who said that to Noah. I knew the worst flood in history was happening and the only way to convince Noah to build that fucken ark and take those animals along was to pretend to be God.)

You would also be wise to include dragons in your Gospel. People like the idea of dragons, and if you had a passage of Jesus riding a dragon the image would be on stained-glass windows in every church the world over come 1000 years. For similar reasons, using trolls, goblins, and dwarves in your story would be a good idea as well. Are you afraid these inclusions would make the story outrageous? I’ve got news for you, the story is already ludicrous.  (Virgin births and a man coming back from the dead? Come on.)

You should have him and his disciples sing and dance a lot too. Perhaps those around him could refer to him as the Singing Messiah and his Merry Band of Dancing Disciples. Is that too long? I don’t think so. Oh and this one is important, give him a good sense of medical science, not what people in your time and place foolishly refer to as medical science but actual medical science. I’m attaching to this letter a separate piece of paper in which I wrote some precepts which will put the scientific knowledge of your world into hyper drive.

Perhaps most importantly, if you decide to write your own Gospel, be sure to avoid placing the blame for Jesus’ death squarely on the Jews. Do not mention “blood guilt” or anything else like that. Trust me, doing that will cause some problems in the future .

If you abide by these elements I think you’ll have yourself a pretty good gospel, definitely better than any of the others that may be created.


The Rauschmonstrum

[Unfortunately due to issues with postage, Paul never received the Rauschmonstrum’s letter. Who knows how the course of history would have changed if he had.]

The Rauschmonstrum and Situationism


I’ve been reading about Situationism and Guy Debord’s work “Society and the Spectacle.” It got me thinking how my character. The Rauschmonstrum fits into this philosophy, particularly the concept of detournement. Namely, both of them exist for the purpose of chaos.

Detournement is French for “hijacking.” In Situationism it refers to the process by which previously created pieces of art are altered so that their new purpose is counter to what their original purpose was. When I wrote my book “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum,” I had never heard of Situationism or any of the concepts associated with it before. However my purposes for writing it were very similar to why people use the detournement technique.  I wanted to use The Rauschmonstrum to turn the Gospels, and the whole Christian narrative against itself.  I wanted to expose its flaws and make the mythological aspects of the story more apparent by injecting it full of a myth of my own creation. 

I have also inserted the image of the Rauschmonstrum into previously created paintings, as well as photographs of different famous people. I think of this as Rausch Grafitti.

rauschmonstrum-jacknicholson      rauschmonstrum-napoleon

The fact that the Rauschmonstrum is extremely crudely drawn is not lost on me; it’s kind of the point. His grin is just too much! To me it all has a “Memento Mori”-ish quality, which suits him.  On top of all this, he’s pretty easy to draw this way.

I never liked the poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” and so I revised into it my own “Rauschmonstrum Remixed” version in order to flip the entire story on its head. I plan on doing this to other previous pieces of literature for further “Rauschmonstrum Remixes.” I think the Rauschmonstrum could really liven up the books “Dracula” and “Frankenstein,” and due to ol’ Rausch’s characteristics as a shape shifter and immortal, the possibilities are endless.

Ultimately my wish is for others to use the Rauschmonstrum for similar purposes on their own. In this way, the Rauschmonstrum will play a sizable role in “disrupting the flow of the spectacle” which is everything detournement is meant to do.


{The Rauschmonstrum’s Press Agent}


Alan Watts, Jokers, and The Rauschmonstrum


“The fool’s standpoint is that all social institutions are games. He sees the whole world as game playing. That’s why, when people take their games seriously and take on stern and pious expressions, the fool gets the giggles because he knows that it is all a game.”

-Alan Watts

“All humane people should admit that they are jokers; that they are playing games and playing tricks.”

-Alan Watts


I’d like to go a little bit into Alan Watts’ idea of jokers (or fools), and how the characteristics of Watts’ Joker can be related to the character of The Rauschmonstrum in my book “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum”

Watts discusses his idea of jokers in several of his lectures. He describes the archetype of the joker as followed:

Qualities of Watts’ Joker

  • Has a Flexible Sense of Reality and Morality
  • Is Humorous
  • Is Not Interested in the Status Quo
  • Is Anti-Establishment
  • Engages in Trickery and Thinks of their Trickery as a Valuable Service


The Rauschmonstrum has many similarities with Watts’ Joker. For one thing The Rauschmonstrum is as slippery as they come, always changing his appearance, and altering the pillars reality is based on wherever he goes. To him, everything is constructed out of deception, the way he is constructed out of smoke. His humor is dark, and he seems to take joy in the joke he is playing, while Jesus and everyone else in Judea take it all quite seriously.

The Rauschmonstrum is clearly anti-establishment After all, at the get-go of the book it is made clear he does not like the Roman’s occupation of Judea and does not like the laws of Judaism. It is for this reason he decides to see them done away with and transforms Jesus into a false messiah. This is matched with Ol’ Rausch’s desire to play a big trick on mankind. At the start of the story the Rauschmonstrum wants to trick mankind with a false messiah simply to amuse himself, but as time goes on he decides he may well be performing this trick for humanity’s own good as well.

Interestingly enough Watts once described Jesus himself as a jester, saying “of course the church formed itself around a particular jester who couldn’t be stood and thus had to be crucified, it was just too much.” Jesters all abound!

Sam Harris, Free Will, Jesus, and the Rauschmonstrum



I think about Sam Harris’ book “Free Will” a lot. When it comes to moments in my life which do not sit well with me I often reflect if whether these things were bound to happen due to a combination of events which came before it and which I had no control over.  When I was facing a fork in the road could I have simply ignored that impulse to go the way I did, and instead go the other way? If I had, would it have mattered?

For this post I am going to take some of the things Harris brings up in “Free Will” and apply them to my book “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum.”

The Rauschmonstrum’s Free Will

As “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum” points out at the start of the story the Rauschmonstrum is alone.  He has been thrown into this world with no sense of where he came from. He has no family and there are no creatures resembling him.  Immortal, he has no better way to occupy the time but to wander the Earth.  The thing which interests him the most is observing humans. Although he has a genuine interest in them, he also despises them due to the flaws in their nature.  It is for this reason he decides to play a trick on Jesus of Nazareth to make him think he is the son of God, putting the events into place which lead to the establishment of Christianity, and the consequences thereof.

However, were the Rauschmonstrum’s actions voluntary? Did he have free will? He took lots of time to put his plan into action, but did he have a choice to make these plans? Was it simply something bund to happen out of a combination of the experiences ol’ Rausch had had up to that point along with the thoughts which appeared in his mind? If these were the only variables in play I would say he does not have free will. However, there is more.  Later on in the story when Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Rauschmonstrum considers everything he has done to this point and has second thoughts about leading Jesus off to his doom. He considers changing course and allowing Jesus to live on, unburdened of his delusion he is the son of God. If somebody takes opportunities to reflect on what they have been doing, and consider changing before going right back to what they are doing is this not a utilization of free will? I would say yes it is.

Then again, there are aspects about the Rauschmonstrum which make things all the more complex, in that he has the power to do just about anything. (Shape shifting, making things appear and disappear, healing the sick, raising the dead, etc.) Humans have limitations to what they can do and this limits their ability to do as they want. The Rauschmonstrum does not have this problem. I think this only strengthens the case for him possessing free will.

Jesus’ Free Will

In “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum” Jesus is just plain duped by the Rauschmonstrum. Ol’ Rausch appealed to false conceptions Jesus already had about himself and reinforced these beliefs again and again and again. How would Jesus have been able to break away from the Rauschmonstrum’s puppeteer strings and live out his life in a different way? The only way would have been for the Rauschmonstrum to change his mind about what he was doing to Jesus, and stop. Since this means Jesus’ behavior was directly dependent on another being’s decision there is no way Jesus possesses free will in “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum.”


In the future I’ll probably make a post about the version of Jesus presented in the Gospels and examine whether that character possesses free will.

On How Cool Christopher Hitchens Was


Hitchens was by far the greatest orator I’ve ever seen. He was also the finest advocate for atheism to be found on the web. (much love to Dawkins and Harris.) Who knows how many he won over thrashing persons of faith in debates, and through his prolific appears on the talk show circuit, his powers on best display on the Charlie Rose Show and Real Time With Bill Maher. In print Hitchens wasn’t quite as effective. His articles and books rarely live up to the power of his speaking ability, but then again how could they? That being said, the wisdom he shares in print is quite palpable, as he thrashed against Mother Teresa and Henry Kissinger for their fraudulence and ill-will, and praised Jefferson and Paine for their rationalism.

Nobody outside of a handful of legendary actors, musicians and novelists ever looked as cool with a cigarette in their hand as much as Hitch. (Never touch the stuff kids, it eventually killed him.) He looked damn good with a drink in his hand as well. Hitchens was oh so brash and smug, and never back away from a fight, though I wish he had backed off his support of the Iraq War. He was one of those rare people who gave off the impression of knowing everything, rather than just somebody who pretends to know everything; those people are a dime a dozen. And oh how he hated religion! He treated it with the contempt it deserved and wouldn’t give an inch to anyone who thought otherwise. His quote on the then recently deceased Jerry Falwell, “if you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox” is one for the ages. Perhaps the biggest shame about his early death is that it happened just as both he and his views on religion were hitting the mainstream.

Discordianism, Eris, and the Rauschmonstrum

As we roll along on our merry Rauschmonstrum train it’s time to tell the story of Discordianism.  I am very interested in Discordianism, because of similarities between it and my character The Rauschmonstrum and the mythos I’ve been creating of him.  Depending on whom you ask Discordianism is either a religion or a parody of religion.  More often than not though, it’s taken as parody. Discordians worship Eris the Greek goddess of discord, or…maybe they just pretend to worship Eris.  The holy book of Discordianism is the Principia Discordia, written by a fellow who went by Malaclypse the Younger.  If you were to read Principia Discordia you’d be faced with a chaotic mess, which is the point. It feels like a collection of unfinished sketches which barely fit together.

There are two main themes which run through the book. The first theme is reality is bendable and by realizing this we are able to change our realities. (Just like my boy RM!)  Secondly, order and disorder are simply illusions of ours in order to categorize chaos, which is the essential element of the universe. As one passage in the book goes:

“Pick a grid, and through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same chaos will appear differently ordered and disordered. Reality is the original Rorschach. Verily! So much for all that.”

Discordianism has five rules, called the Pentabart. There are as so:

  1. There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.
  2. A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.
  3. A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (No Hot Dog Buns).
  4. A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.
  5. A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he Reads.

Riveting stuff isn’t it?

Another thing to know about Discordians is it has a rule about popes. To them every person on Earth is a pope, and if you’re just learning that for the first time, congratulations on your papacy. As a staunch anti-cleric I strongly approve of this dogma.

If you want to strip all this down, Discordianism is a philosophy encouraging you to fuck with everything and be a trickster, advising you trickery is a central aspect of the universe and should thus be embraced. My boy the Rauschmonstrum is a fictional character who lives by this type of creed. Ol’ Rausch has a lot in common with Eris, both are supernatural immortal and both distrust in mankind’s ability to make out an objective reality. As he would say “what is truth?” It may be that in the future the Discordians could incorporate the Rauschmonstrum into their philosophy, or Discordianism could be absorbed into the Rauschmonstrum mythos for the formation of Rauschmonstrumism. Perhaps the Rauschmonstrum and Eris could be husband and wife, or brother or sister, or both.  Ultimately I’m sure everyone will do what thou wilt.


{The Rauschmonstrum’s Press Agent}


The Rauschmonstrum Rule

As some of you know I am in progress on another Rauschmonstrum story, “The Rauschmonstrum & Moses” where the Rauschmonstrum plays his tricks on Moses, aiding him in freeing the Israelites from Egypt and then bears witness to all the terrible things Moses does afterwards. This Rauschmonstrum Remix tale is a lot less fun than “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum” mainly because the bible books Moses is a character in (Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) are terrible pieces of works.

Despite the obvious flaws in the morality Jesus of Nazareth prescribes, they are at least reasonable flaws! The Gospels never get close to the disastrous instructions Moses gives the Israelites. For one thing, murder and rape seem perfectly fine to Moses as long as it is done to people from outside groups. Slavery is also inexplicably allowed despite Moses having just freed his own people out of slavery. Reading this nonsense, I couldn’t believe any of these stories play any role in the 21st Century, they are simply the worst.

However, enough with bashing monotheism, there’ll be enough of that in future posts. All in all, Moses’ world is not a welcome one for the Rauschmonstrum. Moses is in charge of doing too many bad things for the Rauschmonstrum to gloss over them. Ol’ Rausch has too sophisticated a morality to let Moses give out such terrible laws and start such barbaric warfare.

This experience has caused me to create the Rauschmonstrum Rule, which will serve as a critical standard for all forms of literature, and perhaps other mediums.


The Rauschmonstrum Rule: The more feasible it is to add the Rauschmonstrum into a story in a major way, the better a story is.


To explain further, since the Rauschmonstrum is an immortal, ageless, shape-shifting monster, he is better suited  than perhaps any other fictional  character in history to be edited into any piece of literature. However, some pieces of work are set up in a way where adding in the Rauschmonstrum would turn it into a garbled mess. Or, as is the case above, the story may have too flawed a morality for the Rauschmonstrum to take part in it in good conscience.

Some of you will argue that the more complex a work, the harder it would be to insert the Rauschmonstrum, and that this is a flaw in my theory. I disagree. Take the example of Ulysses by James Joyce; certainly one of the all time most complex pieces of English literature. I think the Rauschmonstrum would fit in quite well in that story. For example, he could be a fictional character Stephen Dedalus makes up during a philosophical brain storm. Or he could follow Leopold Bloom around during the course of his day, shape shifting into different people Bloom meets as he goes from place to place.  Now, it would certainly be time consuming to insert Rauschmonstrum into Ulysses but that is a different matter entirely.

As you, my loyal Rausch Pals, create your own Rauschmonstrum Remixes, our community will get a good sense of what works and what doesn’t. I’m sure many discussions will be had based on this, and I look forward to it all.

Till then,


-{The Rauschmonstrum’s Press Agent}-

Cut-Ups, William S. Burroughs, and the Rauschmonstrum

Language is a virus from outer space” – William S. Burroughs

Cut-up: A literary technique performed by taking a finished and fully linear text and cutting it in pieces with a few or single words on each piece. The resulting pieces are then rearranged into a new text.

William S. Burroughs is probably the most famous literary figure to utilize cut-ups in his work, and his popularization of them led to certain musicians to use them for their lyrics. (i.e. David Bowie, Kurt Cobain).

Burroughs believed that since language has a colossal impact on how we see the world, and that it also traps us into certain frameworks of thinking. Therefore, he reasoned that if we change the words we use then our realities would change as well. This was a cornerstone of Burroughs’ conception of the magical universe,the belief that our minds have control over the inter-workings of the universe, thus a change of mind equals a change in universe.

This brings us back to our pal the Rauschmonstrum. In my first blog post I described the Rauschmonstrum as a “narrative virus” because of how easy it is to insert him into stories. By inserting the Rauschmonstrum into the Gospel story for “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum” my intention was to alter the readers’ viewpoints of the original text, hopefully so that they could then see the absurdity of the Gospels, and in my own way play a role in the continuing decline of religion in the United States. If it turns out that I am a success in this goal then I will be a happy fellow. I’ll be making some more Rauschmonstrum stories using this method, taking previous works of literature and using them for my own purposes, and I invite all of you to do the same. (Not for commercial purposes of course, that’s my racket.)

-{The Rauschmonstrum’s Press Agent}-