The Rauschmonstrum Rule

As some of you know I am in progress on another Rauschmonstrum story, “The Rauschmonstrum & Moses” where the Rauschmonstrum plays his tricks on Moses, aiding him in freeing the Israelites from Egypt and then bears witness to all the terrible things Moses does afterwards. This Rauschmonstrum Remix tale is a lot less fun than “The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum” mainly because the bible books Moses is a character in (Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) are terrible pieces of works.

Despite the obvious flaws in the morality Jesus of Nazareth prescribes, they are at least reasonable flaws! The Gospels never get close to the disastrous instructions Moses gives the Israelites. For one thing, murder and rape seem perfectly fine to Moses as long as it is done to people from outside groups. Slavery is also inexplicably allowed despite Moses having just freed his own people out of slavery. Reading this nonsense, I couldn’t believe any of these stories play any role in the 21st Century, they are simply the worst.

However, enough with bashing monotheism, there’ll be enough of that in future posts. All in all, Moses’ world is not a welcome one for the Rauschmonstrum. Moses is in charge of doing too many bad things for the Rauschmonstrum to gloss over them. Ol’ Rausch has too sophisticated a morality to let Moses give out such terrible laws and start such barbaric warfare.

This experience has caused me to create the Rauschmonstrum Rule, which will serve as a critical standard for all forms of literature, and perhaps other mediums.


The Rauschmonstrum Rule: The more feasible it is to add the Rauschmonstrum into a story in a major way, the better a story is.


To explain further, since the Rauschmonstrum is an immortal, ageless, shape-shifting monster, he is better suited  than perhaps any other fictional  character in history to be edited into any piece of literature. However, some pieces of work are set up in a way where adding in the Rauschmonstrum would turn it into a garbled mess. Or, as is the case above, the story may have too flawed a morality for the Rauschmonstrum to take part in it in good conscience.

Some of you will argue that the more complex a work, the harder it would be to insert the Rauschmonstrum, and that this is a flaw in my theory. I disagree. Take the example of Ulysses by James Joyce; certainly one of the all time most complex pieces of English literature. I think the Rauschmonstrum would fit in quite well in that story. For example, he could be a fictional character Stephen Dedalus makes up during a philosophical brain storm. Or he could follow Leopold Bloom around during the course of his day, shape shifting into different people Bloom meets as he goes from place to place.  Now, it would certainly be time consuming to insert Rauschmonstrum into Ulysses but that is a different matter entirely.

As you, my loyal Rausch Pals, create your own Rauschmonstrum Remixes, our community will get a good sense of what works and what doesn’t. I’m sure many discussions will be had based on this, and I look forward to it all.

Till then,


-{The Rauschmonstrum’s Press Agent}-

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