The Rauschmonstrum’s Campaign For Secretary of State

The reports are that the next Secretary of State will be Rex Tillerson, the CEO of Exxon Mobil. Just in case this is false, the Rauschmonstrum would like to throw his hat into the ring for that position. The following are reasons why he would make a good Secretary of State. 

  1. He has a detailed knowledge of the history and culture of every country on Earth, particularly the Middle East.
  2. He is as cunning as they come. Nobody will ever get over on him. 
  3. He’s amoral
  4. His personality and background ensures he will intimidate any and all foreign leader, while never ever being intimidated by them. 
  5. He has unlimited powers to sabotage others, without anybody ever finding out. 
  6. He’s more interested in finding colorful ways to spend his time than by making lots of money.

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