Interviews With the Rauschmonstrum

Hello Rausch Pals,

I’m filled with glee to announce I will be putting together a new Rauschmonstrum book. It’ll be called “Interviews With the Rauschmonstrum” and it will consist of a series of interviews done of the Rauschmonstrum by different famous interviewers over the years, everyone from Mike Wallace to William Buckley to Dick Cavett to Charlie Rose to Jimmy Fallon. This’ll give me the opportunity to put my love of interview shows to use, and to write in the voice of my favorite interviewers. It should be a fun project.

I shall be writing it at the same time as “Interviews With Dick LaGorry” where I use the same concept for a con-man, huckster, charlatan, and avant-garde artist character I created and played in an unfinished feature film “The Legend of Dick LaGorry.” I’m sure all you Rausch Pals will also like Dick LaGorry as you get to know him.

My Best Regards,

The Rauschmonstrum’s Press Agent 

 

The Easter Story Rauschmonstrum Style

This passage comes from the 2016 book The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum

The Rauschmonstrum Plots the Resurrection

When he had starting planning his mission, the Rauschmonstrum had assumed that the consequences of his actions would be completely malevolent. However, he had seen all the good things Jesus and the disciples had done, as well as the positive changes in behavior of people who went to see Jesus.

He knew that if the disciples went out and continued the Nazarene’s work, and if the Word spread far and wide, the world may benefit more than it was hurt by what the Rauschmonstrum had done. He knew however, that it was still quite possible nothing but utter destruction would come out of spreading the message of Jesus of Nazareth. The Rauschmonstrum was fine with either outcome.

The most important part of the Rauschmonstrum’s task was yet to be done.  For the Nazarene to have a lasting impact, some post-Resurrection appearances must be made to the disciples.

Thus, the Rauschmonstrum would need to take the form of Jesus and appear before the remaining eleven disciples, persuading them that he had resurrected from the dead.

“If I do this, then the myths about him will never die.”

 

The Second Burial of Jesus

Before doing anything else, it was essential that he remove Jesus’ body from the tomb.

The Rauschmonstrum decided that the best permanent grave for Jesus would be next to his old disciple, Judas. Shortly after betraying Jesus, Judas had decided for himself that Jesus really had been telling the truth, and went off and hung himself. Judas’ body had then been buried in what was known as the Field of Blood; a field usually reserved for the bodies of foreigners.  

The Rauschmonstrum went to the tomb Joseph of Aramathia had given Jesus and took his body over to the Field of Blood. There, he dug a spot next to Judas and buried Jesus. “Goodbye dear Nazarene” said the Rauschmonstrum as a final farewell.

 

The Empty Tomb

 Now on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene went early, while it was still dark, to the tomb, and saw the stone taken away from the tomb. Therefore she ran and came to Simon Peter, and to the other disciples, and said to them,

“They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and I don’t know where they have laid him!”

Peter and the other disciples went out, and they went toward the tomb.  Simon Peter  entered into the tomb. He saw the linen cloths lying there, and the cloth that had been on Jesus’ head, rolled up in a place by itself. The disciples then went back to where they were staying.

My New Book; The Rise And Fall of the Horde

Hia Folks,

Right now I’d like to shamelessly self-promote my newest book, “The Rise and Fall of the Horde”. It does not deal with our pal The Rauschmonstrum in any way. This book is a telling of what my college years may or may not have been like (saying that they are may possibly put me on shaky legal ground). The book deals with drunken exploit after drunken exploit after drunk exploit, I’m sure you’ll like it.

Rauschmonstrum Antifragile

  • I am a devotee of Nassim Taleb’s concept of antifragility. Antifragility is defined as a property of systems that increase in capability and resilience as a result of stressors, shocks, volatility, noise, mistakes, faults, attacks, or failures. 
    I’m sure you know where I’m going with  this, our boy The Rauschmonstrum is an on the nose example of antifragility at work.

1. In the works the Rauschmonstrum appears he thrives off of the chaos he causes in other peoples’ lives and in disrupting the global order at large. He embraces uncertainty, and in a way worships it.
2. His shapeshifting abilities themselves are antifragile. The more mistakes he makes, the more information he is able to take in, the more shapes he can take, the more impact he is able to have on the world stage.
3. The format by which works about him are written is very much antifragile. He is not bound by normal restraints for fictional characters. Being a shapeshifter and immortal give him free reign over a variety of plot lines other fictional characters do not possess. Thus any stories about him are not bound by narrative constraints. In fact he can get stronger by breaking narrative constraints.

Ol’ Rausch looks forward to carrying on in his antifragile manner.

The Rauschmonstrum’s Christmas Carol

The print edition of The Rauschmonstrum’s Christmas Carol is now available. However, the good folks of Amazon will not allow me to upload a Kindle copy.  They feel this Rauschmonstrum Remix isn’t significantly different enough from the original in order to deserve being uploaded. That’s all okay. For those of you who’d like to buy my book in print in order to keep it forever in your possession, the option is there for you to do so, but for those who just want to read it, I am posting the pdf for it right here for you.

Merry Christmas,

Nick

The Rauschmonstrum’s Campaign For Secretary of State

The reports are that the next Secretary of State will be Rex Tillerson, the CEO of Exxon Mobil. Just in case this is false, the Rauschmonstrum would like to throw his hat into the ring for that position. The following are reasons why he would make a good Secretary of State. 

  1. He has a detailed knowledge of the history and culture of every country on Earth, particularly the Middle East.
  2. He is as cunning as they come. Nobody will ever get over on him. 
  3. He’s amoral
  4. His personality and background ensures he will intimidate any and all foreign leader, while never ever being intimidated by them. 
  5. He has unlimited powers to sabotage others, without anybody ever finding out. 
  6. He’s more interested in finding colorful ways to spend his time than by making lots of money.